Little Cupid
by Up-Past-Midnight
Summary: Meet Big Time Rush's newest member, Ryan. Kendall believes that he's attempting to break the union of these four best friends, but this little cupid has a miraculous way of making Kendall and James closer than ever. Slash.
1. The Type Not To Jump

**A/N: **Here it is, all! The sequel to my story, _Walk On. _I hope you guys enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: **I own the plot and the adorable little Ryan Durant.

* * *

Gustavo was simply losing it, Kendall could swear, because in accordance to previous events, things went badly. The first time, though, Griffin had issued the epic change. That time, it was _Griffin _who had simply lost his focus on the four-part harmony. Now, it was _Gustavo himself_. What a day, what a day, Kendall kept repeating within himself. Glancing at Logan, he noticed his confused demeanor shot into disbelief, then at Carlos, whose face looked almost exciting, then at James, bearing an emotion between dizzy from the impact against Freight Train and angry with Gustavo's decision to wreck the tradition the four boys had going.

This changed Kendall's intention for the band completely; four friends from small-town, Sherwood, Minnesota, making it big time and moving to Los Angeles and have their hand at fame. They were long past halfway there; that is, until Gustavo decided that, for the hell of it, add in a _fifth member. _

A scrawny, thin, Caucasian fifth member, to add to the other three _already _in the band. But it wasn't the boy's ethnicity that had Kendall dumbfounded about what it was that was going through Gustavo's mind. It was his age. It was the fact that there was a fifth member _at all_. There shouldn't have been the little, midnight-black-haired, pre-pubescent, teenage fifth member romping his way through the band's territory, metaphorically vandalizing everything their band was constituted from.

Had Wayne Wayne not been proof that too many people in one musical unit was far greater than necessary? The bag would burst if they filled it with any more pretty boys than what should have been. Wasn't there a maximum occupancy for this kind of thing? And besides—

He was _only thirteen _for God's sake!

Had high-pitched, lengthy-headed, short-stacked teenagers been the fad lately? Wasn't Justin Bieber enough for the world? Apparently not to Kendall. He left the thoughts to ruminate in his mind as Gustavo broke the news and ordered them to sleep that night. Kelly motioned for them to give the young boy, the new "baby brother" of the band, some serious consideration before deeming him unworthy.

So now, here were the four, the next afternoon, relaxing poolside, awaiting the arrival of their new "baby brother." James seemed to give it good thought, remembering Kelly's words about heightening the middle school student demographic. Logan seemed to have brushed it off as the time progressed, remembering that he would always be the smartest. Carlos seemed to have been excited, from fact number one: he loved meeting new people, and from fact number two: he wouldn't be the shortest of the band anymore.

Los Angeles's beautiful beaches were about to be visited by a teenager who probably lived here all his life. He could have been a Wayne Wayne duplicate—a testy bad boy of sorts that would be the band's eternal downfall. He could have been a Jennifers-turned divo with enough vengeance for fame in one eye to turn all women and men he looked in the eye of to stone. He could have been a hockey-hating Mississipian with a Southern twang to give Big Time Rush the country-like sound they never wanted. Kendall felt bad about hating on country music, soon after finishing his thought.

It was like throwing a cat into water, adding the "baby brother" to the four of them. Something about him, Kendall knew he wouldn't belong. And even though he may not have judged character too well in the past, Kendall was, admittedly, afraid of meeting the new boy. Was he even a threat to the band's well being?

Within moments, a buzz came from James's cell phone on the side table nearest him. A text message from Gustavo blinked onscreen, apparently, the background information on their new baby brother. James swiped the phone from the low table and snarled at the text message with reluctance.

"That's about our new member, yeah?" Logan peeked, interested in the boy they now had to look after.

"Yeah," James's voice trailed as he scrolled down the text message, reading up on their new friend. He began reading slowly aloud, "Ryan Jacob Durant. Goes by Ryan, only thirteen years old. Good voice, hyper-active, studies well. _Musically gifted_." When James said musically gifted, he sounded like he may as well have asked a bag of sewage to dance, disgusted in tone.

Taking the cell phone, Logan began reading off the rest, "Manfield, Iowa; hometown, incredible sense of rhythm and balance. Enjoys music," James looked up at the sound of music, "Bungee jumping," Carlos then perked up, "_The Hobbit _by J.R.R. Tolkien is his favorite book," Logan's voice softened to learn that Ryan liked to read, "and plays hockey." Logan's tone of voice implied that maybe baby brother wasn't as bad as Kendall initially had believed.

"So, what do you think it is that this kid is learning about us?" Carlos figured with an incredible point made. "I mean, is he as scared as we are?"

"He's from Iowa, and it says he's never left," Logan read, "it says here that he is 'grateful for the opportunity presented to him by Mr. Rocque.' We can assume he's a kiss-up."

"People kiss up because they're scared," Carlos said, another very good point arising from the shadows. Where the hell was he coming up with these?

"When does it say he arrives?" Kendall left the question blatantly unanswered.

"Today. Gustavo said they were on Sunset," said Logan.

"They're closing in quickly," Kendall muttered in a super-spy-like tone. "The Palm Woods is under attack, operatives, we've got to defend the castle before all else fails."

"Calm down, he's a thirteen-year-old teenager, not the Trojan War Horse." Logan snickered at Kendall's James Bond melodrama.

After twelve minutes of heated impatience, the four boys sat both eagerly and nervously, Kendall, quaking on the front lines. He was the leader of this group, and he was either admitting in a fine, trained new warrior, or a lying, double-agent. James was blending his emotions, like he was doing much of lately, both angry at Gustavo for thinking he could barge in on a heavy-set theme they were going off of for the band, and also quite excited to be able to look after another boy. Logan sat happily, ready to bombard the boy with questions from _The Hobbit_; an ice-breaker waiting to happen. Carlos pretended not to care, reading _Helmet _magazine like a typical day.

Finally, Bitters approached the boys with an ice cream cone in his hands, the melted parts slithering down his hand like arms on an octopus. What Bitters was up to now, the boys didn't plan on finding out. Bitters, though, finally spoke up through ice creamed mouth, "Gustavo and Kelly are waiting up front with some kid. Said it was urgent."

The four bounded up almost instantly. Kendall lead, "well, guys. We're about to meet either our total demise or our complete success, who now lies in the hands of Gustavo Rocque. This boy is going to change things. Are you guys ready for that?"

"He's a boy," Logan repeated, "_not _the Manhattan Project. Calm down, Kendall."

"Bring it on."

* * *

Ryan Durant looked as wondered and dazed as the four were when they first arrived at the Palm Woods, some several months ago. He gaped his mouth at the skyscrapers, half of which were merely palm trees, and he stared at the cars passing, a quarter of which being limosuines, containing the honor of celebrities, another quarter being expensive cars from the Barbie-dream-Lamborghini set, the other quarter being buses were people from the ruddy walks of cement came to converge and get someplace, the other quarter-and-a-half being a combination of either, and the last quarter-and-a-half being cars he actually knew the name of. He stared out at the beach like he had never seen one before—and he probably hadn't. Sweat showered his face, the typical homeostasis occurring in his body after being brushed into the forever-going-on Los Angeles heatwave without even a minute to prepare.

He held a quite thick rolling luggage piece tightly in his hands as Gustavo's two assistance managers lugged a good four boxes of Iowa valuables into the Palm Woods, and up the elevator. Kendall didn't even want to fathom where Ryan had planned on staying yet, but all he knew was he was sure as hell not going to part his room three ways, having already shared a room with Carlos.

Ryan stood behind Gustavo, still unaware that the presence of his new bandmates was slowly approaching. Surveying the target, Kendall saw the young boy watch the cloudless sky sprawl out above him, as if had never seen so much sky blue in his entire life. He had somewhat short black hair to contrast the fair skin and blue eyes, his hair posing almost like Logan's, except Ryan's looked almost messy—but in that way that worked. You could tell he merely had to brush it back in the morning to get it to obey, what with all its volume. _Great hair, James was sold._

Ryan donned a pair of flip-flops, looking almost newly bought, and some slightly slim jeans, but not too tight, a dark denim blue, with an orange tee shirt. Fisted in one hand was the handle to his roller luggage, but in the other was a book, a quite thick paperback book, that he remained propped open clean down the middle with his thumb, as he continued curiously surveying the new world he was set in, as if he was calculating how many wonders he had to dissect before dying. _A hyper nerd, Logan was sold. _

Though with a book in his hand, he donned a skateboarding tee shirt with a motivational saying to go for it scrawled across in a font that looked like handwriting. And as one of the assistants returned to retrieve a thick duffel bag, Carlos couldn't help but see a small helmet stick out, not unlike the one he had resting on his bed in 2J. On it was some masking tape, and the quick note that said, In Case of Emergencies. _Helmet-wearing nutjob, Carlos was sold._

And, finally, also sticking out of the final piece of luggage, the hockey bag, he could see a dented up hockey stick peeking its way through the end, the same colors as Kendall's first hockey stick. Kendall had to resist being sold, for the sake of the group, but for now. _Hockey jock, Kendall was sold._

"Ryan," Kelly motioned for the youthful thirteen-year-old to step forward and meet his new older brothers, "meet Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan. Your new bandmates."

Ryan looked at them with a bashful smile. You could tell he wasn't accustomed to meeting new people just yet, but Kendall decided to give him a break, considering he had just met Gustavo Rocque. He feigned a smile, and waved at the boy, saying, "you'll like it here."

"I hope so," he laughed quietly, as he met the gazes of each of his new, older counterparts. James had tons of questions to ask him about haircare, Logan of the book he was reading, Carlos of the things he's jumped off of in the past, and Kendall. Well, Kendall had questions for the boy, alright, but none of them really pertained to hockey.

"Come inside." James smiled, quickly tugging at the boy to enter. "Have we got questions for _you_."

* * *

Spending a day with Ryan ended up in him fitting in quite well, but Kendall was all the more suspicious and cautious of letting the boy into their wild faction. Why his friends felt so relaxed about such a drastic change, Kendall couldn't fathom, but they laughed at Ryan's Iowan humor, they talked of hockey and famous people, they tested his voice (to Kendall's remorse, he was good), and they pushed him playfully into the pool, where he popped back up, yelling, "I can't swim, I can't swim," only to have tricked James and Carlos into jumping in and getting just as soaked, and earning him a few good punches in the arm. A hilarious prankster, a pseudo-genius, a well-trained athlete, _and _a potentially gifted musician?

There was something _too good _about this boy, and the way that he clung to Logan instantly, and Logan willingly clung back, threw Kendall off immediately. Kendall couldn't determine whether it was the hormones from past events that forced him to be a bit taken in by Ryan's sudden closeness with the pale, genius boy they knew as Logan.

The night ended around the pit fire, where the boys were having another poolside jam-session, reminiscing on the days when they would take Logan's triplet brother and sister, Becca and Davie, camp out together, and sing songs under the moonlight. Never was there Ryan in the picture, but now here he was, singing along as if he's been there all this time.

And Kendall wasn't too enthusiastic. After closing a song they dedicated to Becca and Davie, the audience cheered, and the boys flooded Ryan with more questions.

"So, Rye, you're alone here in L.A.?" James queried, placing a nickname where nickname was due.

"Yes. My parents are sort of," Ryan took a sigh, and a small pause, "in a situation."

"What kind?" Carlos instantly retorted.

"I'd rather not say, but all I know is, I'm not a part of whatever it is they plan on doing with their lives anymore," Ryan's face went cloudy, but brightened sunny again before saying, "now I've got this beautiful place, and there's nothing I really have to worry about."

"_Except Gustavo_." James chuckled, noting how big a handful their boss was all in all.

"Hey, he's paying my rent," Ryan shrugged with a smirk, "I really can't disgrace the man."

"Trust me, antics are what he's used to, after producing us." Logan laughed with a nostalgic grin, probably looking back on the chaotic memories that caused the four boys so much happiness. He wondered how much more intense they would be with Ryan in the picture, the over-active boy who could fit into air vents with ease, jump off of things and land like a feline, and have enough energy to follow a well-organized plan through till the end. Logan stopped himself from thinking this way before he turned into Carlos, but with a good look at Ryan, Logan could tell that he would be a member just fine.

"He knows we mean well," Carlos reassured, "so when you see the four of us up to something, don't be afraid to jump in."

"I have a feeling I won't be too afraid when the time comes around." Ryan nodded firmly to the others. "I've never been the type to _not _jump."

* * *

**A/N: **Do you guys like Ryan? Review with your thoughts!


	2. In The Morning

Ryan lived alone in the apartment previous to the original four boys, 2I. The small bungalow looked almost as disgusting as 2J before the boys' renovations were made. The drywall was cringing, the curtains housed dust, and much of the suite around him made Ryan have trouble living, but under protest, Kendall demanded that Ryan not move in under important circumstance that he decided to keep to himself. The other boys, though, were remorseful for the preteen, and volunteered the band into cleaning the apartment and pooling their paychecks over the next few weeks to buy Ryan a set of new furniture and sheets.

They began their renovations with tidying the apartment, Carlos and Logan armed with a pair of gloves on-hand, and some Incredi-Clean product to sanitize the lone lavatory in Ryan's room, and the kitchen/dining rooms. James was armed with a hefty vacuum and feather duster. Kendall took on the heavy-duty spackle-and-paint combination, and Ryan was given the task of walking around the apartment, collecting trash.

"I can do _more_, you know," Ryan insisted, "it _is my _apartment."

"Oh, no, kiddo, you just hang back and let us do all the work, okay?" Carlos sympathized as if Ryan was incompetent.

Not wanting to appear rude, Ryan shrugged, and took a seat on the dilapidated couch, only to promptly fall from the faulty legs. Blowing the bangs out of his hair, he groaned, "I can do more." Nobody seemed to hear him, so he began complaining louder, "I'm going downstairs! You guys don't need me!"

Still no response from the boys, busy at work.

* * *

"He's really a cute kid," Carlos noted, both now working on the bathroom. The filth would have been quicker to terminate if the two had converged, and they would move on to the kitchen later. Figuring so, Carlos and Logan had time to talk, about _anything_, really, but instead, he had to go and start everything with calling Ryan a "cute kid."

"Pedophile." Logan labeled quickly.

"Whoa, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Carlos reiterated, "I meant he's so small and yet, so talented. He's got a lot going for him."

"Just another Justin Bieber to me," Kendall noted, coming inside the bathroom, in search of a spray, maybe to wash down the windows with. "I'm not too fond of Ryan, if you guys haven't caught that yet."

"What's so wrong with him?" Carlos queried. "I think he's great."

"You think he's _cute_," Logan mocked, as Carlos retorted with a dirty wash cloth in his face, a successful attempt in letting Logan know to kindly shut the fuck up because he knew what Carlos had meant.

"Don't you see?" Kendall waved his hands around, as if what he was indicating to was in the air. "Gustavo's bored!"

"Bored? _With us_?" Carlos laughed.

"Raving lunatics, we are," James said, passing the bathroom quickly, and leaving without a trace to tidy something in the bedroom up.

"Exactly. How can he be bored of _Big Time Rush_?"

"I'm not exactly buying the whole youth demographic thing," Kendall reasoned, "I mean, I'm not buying the whole bull-crap about how 'teens are falling to the scene band ratio' and stuff. I mean, if Justin Bieber's famous, there's hope for us, right?"

"Your point, Kenny?" Logan scoffed as he watched Kendall breathe deeply from the work, and lean his back against the bathroom doorway.

"My point is," Kendall added, "there's a reason why Gustavo hired Ryan, and it's not to widen the demographic. _The only probable reason_? He wants one of us to leave."

"Well, that wouldn't make Ryan the legendary fifth member, now would it?" Logan protested. "And there's already a hundred magazines circulating the rising-star band Big Time Rush's 'adorable new fifth member.' There wouldn't be so many posters of little mister number five unless he was _actually going to be_ number five."

"Give it time, Logie, he won't stay number five for long." Kendall added dramatically. "Where _is _Ryan, anyway?"

"He left. He said something about if we didn't let him help clean up this place, he may as well leave. So he did." Carlos said as he returned to soaking the bathtub with whitener.

"We're doing his work _for _him?" Kendall hollered with the tone of I-can't-believe-this.

"I don't see anything wrong with that," Logan shrugged, "he'll pay us back one day."

Kendall groaned, and returned to the living room to begin scrubbing the wide windowpane. Outside, he could see the Palm Woods overturning itself in its daily routine. He found Katie, reading an entrepreneur magazine poolside. He found Bitters, wagging a strict finger at a pair of teen cuties, probably a practice kiss for a scene. He found Jo and Camille, enjoying some smoothies together under one of the tents, and laughing about possibly Logan and himself. He found his mother approach Katie with a paper bag, and throw a bag of chips onto her stomach, then walking off back into the lobby, most likely to enter an elevator and walk to 2J. He found the Jennifers, settling themselves into the pool scene, possibly back home from an audition. Big Time Rush was missing from that typical scene; the four hot boys suntanning in the Californian rays, and it was all because they were voluntarily cleaning the house of the boy that he found next

Ryan Durant, entertaining four or five people with a catchy song by a shaded corner in the pool-yard, attracting a lot of attention, more attention due to the magazines, as more and more people stopped and watched young Ryan flesh out a mini-show preview of his sweet, melodious voice. Kendall had to keep himself from scowling.

* * *

Walking downstairs come nighttime, the boys were partially fatigued for getting Ryan's apartment done for him, but not enough fatigue to be absent on Ryan's inauguration-into-the-band party. It was set at some stately loft atop L.A.'s highest hill, with a view of the skyline not far away. Nestled in a few bushes, the manor may as well have been made of complete glass, because Kendall could see into the second floor, and he swore somebody was looking at his behind from the basement.

"Isn't this cool, Kenny?" James came bounding up to the white couch Kendall settled himself into, carrying what he hoped was punch. "Ryan must be ecstatic."

"Good for Ryan," Kendall rolled his eyes, "he must be feeling so _great _right now."

"He's actually not, if you look," Logan appeared, almost out of nowhere, and shot a small point at Ryan, who sat on a large chair, sipping the red juice distributed. He looked desperately bored, sitting lonely. Every now and again, he would eye the boys regularly, most likely jealous that they could party and he couldn't. "He took a typical Gustavo speech about how he needs to stay on that chair and look good."

Kendall bellowed, laughing at Ryan's demise, "what a hoot."

"You're a _jerk_," Logan stated, "you know that?"

"Yeah, I mean, come _on, _Kendall," James took a seat next to his blond counterpart, "he's a thirteen-year-old boy at a party _for himself _who was just told that he _couldn't _party at the party _for himself_. I mean, wouldn't you be disappointed?"

"Not really. It's a corporate party. Who's he going to party with, Kelly? Gustavo? Griffin?" Kendall scoffed.

"Us, you idiot," Logan added, "his bandmates? The boys he's going to tour with, sing with, spend hours and hours in the recording booth with. His _friends_?"

"I am _not _his friend." Kendall declared instantly.

Logan and James exchanged a look of pure mutual dismay, and disappointment in their friend. They rolled their eyes at their pessimistic friend, and then walked off to sit on the steps surrounding Ryan's prominent, royal chair. Carlos was at the finger foods table, adorned with little delicious foods, from cold sashimi to warm escargot, Carlos filled a big bowl with the food laid out before him. But as he looked up to see Logan, pale and smiling, walking alongside James, tall, and also smiling, walk over to Ryan and sit to accompany him, he remembered telling himself how proud he was of his friends.

Then his eyes met a grumpy Kendall, brooding on the couch nearby. He took it as his opportunity to cheer their fearless leader up. Bring his food to Kendall on the couch, he approached with a bright smile, and an intention to get Kendall to see the good light Ryan was shining down on them. The positive part of having the new boy. Taking one last glance at Ryan as James and Logan approached, he saw his face light up like a Christmas tree, and he knew that Ryan could see the positive light that the four were shining down on him.

Genuine happiness.

"Give him a chance," Carlos nudged Kendall's arm with his elbow, "he might be a really good person."

With an angry glare, Kendall turned to look at Carlos. "_Never_. There's something up, and I know it."

"Do you _ever _just take life as it comes? Why are there all these precautions?"

"You know damn well that I, of all people, take life as it comes, precaution-less hazards and all."

"Then where's _that _Kendall?"

"He got replaced by the _fifth member_."

Instantly, Carlos's intentions were shot, and his attitude turned sour, "well. If you decide to find _that _Kendall, bring him over here, because this one is really harshing the party mood. I'll be with the others."

"Carlos—"

"You know, he's only going to be the fourth member because you're sectioning yourself off," Carlos began, "he's not the fifth member unless there's _five people_. When you're ready to make us five, you come on over."

* * *

Since when had Carlos started making sense?

That wasn't the conundrum, though, it was the fact that his friends and Ryan come home laughing at an inside joke he was standing behind the front door of, and he had sulked into his seat in the limo like he had at the party. He sat so much, he couldn't even fall asleep, the pent-up energy rising and accumulating inside him. It was then when he decided to finally cave—

And knocked on the apartment door of 2I. As he stood before the door, his plaid pajamas and ripped white tee shirt, looking stupid, and feeling awkward. He knocked again, asking himself what the fuck he was doing knocking on his neighbor's door at near an hour after midnight.

But yet, Ryan answered, his hair a jumbled mess, his plaid boxer shorts hiked up high, and a sleeveless undershirt half-showing his baby hockey abs. Motioning for Kendall to take a seat in his living room, the two sat across from each other, and began conversing that early, early, early morning.

"Hey, Rye." Kendall eyed his bandmate nervously, not knowing what exactly what it was he was doing here.

"Kendall?" Ryan rubbed his eyes rapidly. "Here, come in. It's cold. Sorry, you kind of caught me in a weird outfit."

"What's so weird?" Kendall chuckled, almost relating to Ryan. "You were asleep, weren't you."

"I was, I was," Ryan closed the door behind Kendall, "but that's alright. You obviously needed something, or you wouldn't be here, right?"

"That's the thing, Rye," Kendall admitted, "I don't know why I'm here."

"You don't? I'm confused."

"So am I. But, don't take this the wrong way, but I get a weird vibe from you—"

"Weird vibe?"

"I don't know, I was hoping you had an answer."

"I guess my arrival was a bit rushed, unexpected," Ryan's voice trailed, "but Gustavo said you were used to things like this."

"I am." Kendall added, "We are."

"Then, why—"

"I guess—I guess I'm paranoid you'll ruin everything this band was about."

"What's your band all about?"

"_Family_," Kendall noted quickly.

A sudden look flashed across Ryan's visage, like he had a premonition of invasions beyond. Like he saw something unbelievable behind his mind. Instantly, Ryan stood up, crossed the room, and opened the door with a blank, undetermined gaze into nowhere. Standing behind an open door for a small while, he didn't blink for a good while.

Instantly, he rushed, "Kendall, thanks for stopping by. I think you and I had better get back to bed. See you at work tomorrow."

"Ooo-_kay_." Kendall gave Ryan an odd look, and thought to himself, _looks like trying to make amends with myself is going to have to wait._

"G'night," Ryan's voice choked a bit.

"Night, Rye. See you at work."

Kendall settled back into his bed after quietly sneaking back into 2J across the hall, finally able to fall asleep after facing his fear, even though more questions rose in his head.

If anything was going to happen, it would be at Rocque Records in the morning.

* * *

**A/N: **Boo for Kendall being a jerk. Hope you liked it. I love reviews.


	3. Crying To Himself

The newly assembled band met and nearly ended their first work day on a typical note. It consisted of the typical meet in Gustavo's office, take an earful of blasted rage, head to the booth and spend the first three hours harmonizing, the second five hours recording two new songs, and the rest of the afternoon rehearsing a new dance routine for the concert they were scheduled to perform in a stadium downtown—to ultimately wow the world with Ryan's first live performance—but Gustavo decided to leave that part specifically out, as to not discourage the other four.

Ryan said nothing of the meet that Kendall and he had the night before, and went about his day normally. They were told to shower in the corporate locker rooms, which Griffin had one day decided to install out of whim, and get dressed to take on their last challenge of the day—a photo shoot for their first album featuring Ryan.

The four stood in the corporate locker room, each carrying their bundle of wardrobes. The locker room was incredible, as far as locker rooms went, with clean tile, and lockers with buttons—none of which belonged rightly to them. Kendall figured about the uselessness of a corporate locker room, but it went with the corporate gym, so he figured it was more of Griffin's need to excessively spend the extra money he had laying about, so that Mercedes didn't get to it first. The showers were to the left, and the boys entered quickly, hanging their outfits on the hook just outside the area where the showers were.

It felt awkward to Ryan, showering in front of four boys who were already so used to being naked in front of each other. They _were _once on a hockey team together. They knew what every little part of each body looked like, but Ryan's was new, not to mention younger. It was like stripping for the cops—to the people viewing, it meant nothing, but to the people being viewed, it felt scary.

Ryan stood awkwardly under the warm water, wondering what the others were doing that caused them to laugh behind him so hard. The shower head he was under was distanced from the others, who were next to each other. To make himself feel less alone, Ryan began singing, listening to his echo.

It was in the middle of Kendall's sudsy soap hockey game that Ryan started lashing out the song they had practiced to himself, "_I promised I would be there. I swear I'm on my way. I know you may not hear me, but that's the price I'll pay. I don't know how I would ever go all alone, walking on my own_—"

His melodious notes caused Carlos and Logan to cease their game, calling a time-out, and began dancing a phony ballet to Ryan's song. Carlos finished, "_Like angels, you were floating to me_—"

"_And that's how it should be!_" Logan exclaimed, though his voice was a shout, it still was on key.

James instantly joined in, singing, "_I don't want to waste another moment, I don't want to pay for things unspoken_—"

James, Logan, and Carlos caught Ryan's attention instantly, as he turned to watch his hilarious new friends, performing an entire ballet routine before him. With that, Ryan turned the heat up on each head of the room, skating on the wet tile—they were alone in the corporate locker room anyway. This filled the room with steam, and soaked the entire perimeter of the showering area, where Ryan soon ran to the other corner to begin spraying suds from the liquid soap, forming mounds of soap bubbles around the area. Laughing out loud, Carlos, James, Ryan, and Logan laughed and sang, "_Cover up my eyes and just start pacing, take a shot in the dark, to be where you are!_"

They failed to see Kendall's somewhat annoyed demeanor, as he stood there with his plastic makeshift hockey stick, thinking, _he interrupted shower hockey. Next thing you know, he'll interrupt the fireside jam sessions, or Carlos breaking a world record._

The others were slipping over one another, and making a clean mess everywhere, while Ryan attempted to slosh Kendall with water accumulating everywhere, but that's when Kendall dropped his plastic stick, stood under one of the hot shower heads, rinsed himself off, dried up, then stormed out of the shower area, leaving the four in an awkward, lonely silence.

"Was it something I did?" Ryan muttered with guilt, as James took him by the shoulder.

James said, in attempt to comfort the smaller boy, "he's just a little mad."

"I'll go talk to him—_Kendall_!" Logan trotted off to dry up as well, and somehow help weaken Kendall's invisible barrier against Ryan, still knowing that the only person who could break the barrier was Ryan himself.

* * *

Kendall and Logan had been getting dressed and dried when Ryan, James, and Carlos followed. Having started redressing earlier, Logan made a silent motion to James, telling him that he would take Kendall for a hot dog from the vending stand outside and give him someone to talk to. James nodded and smiled, reassuring that he would cool Gustavo's nerves and tell him that they can do the James-and-Ryan or Carlos-and-Ryan combination shots for the time being. The photographer would want Ryan with each of the members, anyway.

As the pair sat on the bench, just outside the main doors of the recording studio, they were approached by several doting young girls before they had the right mind to sit someplace else, someplace more soothing and quiet, less seen by the public eye. Logan sat, speaking with Kendall, comforting him, and reassuring him that Ryan was definitely _not _a threat _nor _an enemy.

"I tried giving him a bit of a chance," Kendall admitted, "I went to his apartment in the middle of the night. The boy's suspicious. Every time you mention the word family, he gets really scared."

"You heard him," Logan admitted, "his parents are in a situation, and he obviously made it a point to stay out of the situation. It's obviously in a rough spot, so we're going to have to be his family now."

"He's going to have to prove himself." Kendall leaned back, gaining an annoyed look from Logan. Unable to bear Kendall's bitterness, Logan stood up, and dumped his half-eaten hot dog in a nearby trash can. Kendall got up and followed.

Kendall stopped his friend by his shoulder, "what did I say _now_?"

"_Prove himself_, Kendall? _Prove himself_."

"_Yes_."

"Let me ask you _this, _Kendall." Logan looked at him with a stern face. "Did _I _have to prove myself as _anything_ to become your best friend? _No._ I was left behind by a taxi. Did Carlos have to prove himself when he became your friend? _No_. You taught him how to play hockey. Did James? _No! _When I was in Texas, he was the one that helped you through it."

"Logan—"

"I'm going upstairs to do the shoot. I'll tell them they'll have to get the shots of you tomorrow." Logan approached the elevator and entered, a still Kendall looking him in the face with a dumbfounded look. "See you back at the Palm Woods."

When the elevator dinged, Kendall's mind wasn't changed. The opinion remained the same. _Ryan was ruining his life_

_

* * *

_Ryan was finally alone for a while since the time he joined the band, and he lonely. He was used to it, though, sitting in the dark. Flashes of his old life kept coming into perspective. Iowa kept on crashing its way through his mind, like a horror movie. His mother's face, angry, and her voice, swearing. He remembered when he would hide in his closet just to avoid the metal hangars piercing his skin. After she finally passed out from another overdose, his father would come home and drink the night away, after suffering a "hard day at work" which was probably just another day in the whore house.

Family was never there for him. Moving to turn on a light, Ryan sought hope. He was in Los Angeles now. Away from the broken place he referred to as home. He could stop calling it that undeserving title now, because 2I was his home now. California was the warm, soft carpet. Los Angeles filled his new home with the palm trees and famous figures, the furniture. The Palm Woods was his roof and walls. And his new band mates were his family.

James, his protective older brother. The one he related to well. He felt that he'd fight with him really quickly, but they'd make up just as quick, because now, they were brothers. Logan, his caring mother, the one that only wanted what was best for him. Carlos, his fun-loving dad, and Kendall. Who _was _Kendall to him, anyway?

Knowing he could count on them now, Ryan almost felt good about himself.

But then, Iowa's hating conscious kept muttering things in his head, the voice of his parents. _How can you call them your family? You don't even know them. You've known them for two days. They aren't your family. They're your band. I know you. You'd drop them the minute they step out of line, the way you did your parents. Quitter._

Talking to himself, Ryan shouted, "they won't hurt me like you did!"

_What about Kendall, huh? He doesn't even like you. He doesn't believe in you. _

"He will," Ryan reassured himself, "James said he'll come to."

_Because James knows everything, doesn't he? He's suddenly the all-knowing God now. Don't turn your back from me, Ryan, I'll follow you like a dog follows its master. I'm never going away._

"You'll go away." Ryan, through his tears, attempted to convince himself that the horrible voice in his head would finally silence, or, better than that, disappear completely, and bother somebody else. Ryan knew he didn't deserve what Iowa used to give him—the bloody beatings, the neglect. Days he'd go hungry because all his dad spent money on was whiskey and crack. Cuts he'd hide when he walked to school. Clothes getting smaller, and he never could change them.

_How do you know I'll ever go away, Ryan? Huh? What makes you think I'll ever leave you alone?_

"Because I've never had another family before."

_Another family? You just left one in Iowa, and what makes you think that those faggots would ever love you?_

"They'll love me."

_They'll never love you. Kendall, their leader, already hates you._

"They'll love me. I know they will. And you'll go away." Ryan got up and ran to his small kitchen, then rummaged through a small cupboard, finding a small bottle of pills. Promptly popping the bottle open, Ryan found two, and gulped them down, then, to release the friction in his throat, he gulped down a bottle of tap. The voice was finally silenced, but tomorrow night, they would speak again. They would have another argument, and Ryan would sit in the corner of his little apartment, crying to himself.

* * *

**A/N:** Because I had to throw the boys in a shower and make them sing surrounded by suds. Reviews are amazing.**  
**


	4. I Believe In Us

The concert was approaching rapidly, and the boys had near perfected their pop dance routine in the studio. They had finally perfected their new number, centered around Ryan, when Gustavo allowed them a small break. During the time of their break, Carlos and James had managed to steal away an entire seafood platter, while Logan and Kendall found themselves smuggling the soda. At an attempt to take a short break, Ryan approached and joined the circle, and managed to get an entire prawn in his mouth before Gustavo burst in, scolding him to practice the old _City is Ours _number that the original four already knew.

Ryan responded quickly, and began working on the number, lashing out moves he probably already knew. The song sounded different to the other boys, now that Ryan's youthful vocals set a new tone to the song, but the music was still overall the same. The boys hummed the song to themselves, their parts still as good as they remembered them.

The song had ended minutes later, and Ryan was panting heavily, and managed to sit down and receive some major props from his fellow band-mates. "Whew," he wiped his forehead, now drenched with sweat, "_that _was a workout."

"I'll bet." James smiled. "That was one of the hardest numbers back then."

Instantly, Gustavo burst in, his high-blood pressure funneling out of his tone, "_Ryan_! I never told you to stop dancing! You still have to practice _Boyfriend_, _This Is Our Someday, _and _Til I Forget About You_! You're in _no way ready for the concert_!"

"Gustavo, he's been working all day" James stood up to defend his friend.

"No, James," Ryan stood up, following his lead, "it's fine. He's right."

"_Enough sass, dog_ wait. Did you just say I was right?"

"Yes. Roll the track." Ryan basically shooed Gustavo away, as he left the studio in a daze and hit the play button on the sound board, letting the song emanate throughout the studio. Gustavo dutifully ignored the four boys watching in the corner, and let them continue eating the seafood on the porcelain platter they had stolen.

James sat down, his face peculiar on Ryan, who began dancing to _Boyfriend_. Ryan had the same blank, cloudy look on his face as he sang to the song and performed the moves. James noted, "that was... _odd_."

"Gustavo's _never _right." Carlos said, his mind becoming quizzical.

"Gustavo's _always _right," Logan retorted, "but it'll be a cold day in hell when we admit it."

"_He _just did." James was shaking his head by now.

"Told you he was weird." Kendall said through a piece of lobster jammed in his mouth. For the first time, the other three boys actually believed that Kendall was right about Ryan.

* * *

"Are we going to interrogate him?" Carlos asked excitedly. "Can we?"

"_No_," Logan said calmly, "we don't want to scare him. We'll just ask him what his story is."

"_Why should we_? Just tell Gustavo he's weird, then he'll boot him. Gustavo likes us too much not to listen." Kendall noted.

"There's so much wrong with that sentence." James denied, stroking his hair with his renowned lucky comb. Why he had to spend time exceeding perfect with his do was beyond any of the boys, but there he stood, as if Ryan wasn't acting peculiar. Of all people, James was the one remaining calm throughout Gustavo's endeavor to widen the demographic.

They were headed home that evening, and Ryan had caught an earlier taxi cab before the boys were finished with work to meet with his publicist. He was deciding on firing the woman, her having already been financially backed by many other celebrities, and sharing Gustavo's offered marketing team and publicists. Ryan remembered telling the other boys that they were family now, and that family shared things. He even subtly mentioned moving in, but Ryan didn't expect for things to move _that _quickly. He just needed people to count on at this point, and apparently, by Kendall's body language, he wasn't trusted yet.

All he had at this point was Gustavo. Something about Gustavo was evil, sure, but there was something inside, deep in the crevices, that Ryan trusted with his life. Gustavo was a good man. Kelly, a good woman. The other boys, all good people. It was the boys, though, that he was having trouble establishing trust in.

He was riding home in the small, stinky taxi, watching the vibrant city lights flicker by like a dream passing on. It was nights like this when he attempted to contemplate why he was here, in Los Angeles. He was talented, the others would tell him. Licking his lips, Ryan sat upright soon after realizing his stop at the Palm Woods was approaching. He readied his fare of approximately twenty dollars, and as the taxi cab stopped, he handed the sour Los Angeles driver his cash and thanked him, only to be replied by a grunt. No more taxis for Ryan. He entered the Palm Woods lobby, to find it empty. Not many people were awake at near ten at night, the pool due to close in half an hour.

Moving slowly towards the pool-yard, Ryan had anticipated even just a few people, but only found two. James swim in circles in the pool relaxing his muscles after a long day, and Kendall sat in the background, intently watching the tall boy with a concentrated eye. If Kendall was in love, he had a lousy way of hiding it.

Approaching the pool, Ryan watched Kendall's eyes turn from adoring, and wispy, to an almost I'd-like-to-slay-you type of demeanor. Ryan called to James who was underwater and flashed a smile and a hello. Stripping off his shirt and Bermuda shorts, Ryan jumped into the pool, thinly clad in his loose boxers, but not really caring.

"The pool closes in a half-hour, you freak," James laughed as he was showered in Ryan's cannonball. He then proceeded to shove Ryan back down underwater playfully, as the boy then gasped up for air, smiling profusely.

"I know." He smiled. "I haven't gotten to swim since the day I got here. I love this pool way too much."

"We should get back." Kendall added sourly from behind the two's conversation, the tall blond suddenly directly behind the two brunettes. "It's late. We have work tomorrow."

"C'mon, Kendall, get in." James smiled at his friend.

"Kendall's probably right," Ryan agreed with a blank face, "I'm going to sleep." Ryan was shaking himself dry and picking up his clothes nearby the pool, then left the two with a prominent, "you two stay. I'll see you guys in the morning."

As Ryan left, Kendall and James were finally devoid of thirteen-year-old youngsters.

"_Get in_," James repeated.

"I'm sleepy."

"_Get. In._"

"I don't _want to_."

"Please, Kenny?" James begged, his eyes becoming wide and brown, the undeniable face that became Kendall's demise throughout his entire childhood. "We need to talk."

After a small pause, and a few disapproving shakes of the head, Kendall finally said, "fine." Stripping off his shirt to reveal his well-defined body, Kendall then proceeded to strip off his pants, and fall into the pool alongside James.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Ryan."

"_Oh, god_."

"Lighten up. We're going to find out what's up with him, and if you still want to do away with the kid, then so be it. I support you."

"What if we start..." Kendall added, "you know. _Liking _him?"

"Why shouldn't we?"

"_What_?"

"He's one of us now, Kendall. The brotherhood."

"We're brotherhood, now?"

"We always have been."

"I don't specifically remember it being called a _brotherhood_."

"I just thought of that now."

"I noticed." Kendall laughed, almost forgetting what he called the Ryan Dilemma. Yet somehow, the young boy kept in his mind like a puppy to its master. But for now, it was just him and James.

* * *

Carlos and Logan were laying in 2J, watching the ceiling fan go round and round repeatedly inside Carlos and Kendall's room. A messy room it was, but Kendall had a notoriously clean bed, as far as clean went when it came to the room eau de Carlos and Kendall. They pondered what their two counterparts were up to.

"What if they're kissing," Carlos snickered, "like they used to."

"_They _never used to kiss_._" Logan said simply. "Me and Kendall did. You and James almost did."

"I thought we were going to leave this all behind, in Minnesota."

"_You _brought it up." Logan smiled. "I remember James kissed you that one night on the mountain."

"We talk about it like it was nothing."

"We were raised not to judge people on who they like to kiss, remember, Carlitos? Our moms made it a point to know that no matter who we kissed, as long as we weren't hurting anybody, and that we loved each other, there was nothing going wrong."

"I miss that. I miss mom. And Auntie Emily and Jennifer."

"And Becca and Davie."

"Why didn't they come here with us, again?"

"Becca was heading into her internship in home realty," Logan began explaining in his subtle, know-it-all tone, "and Davie had to stay in school so he could get accepted into the law program."

"You're lucky you got into music, Logie," Carlos smiled.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because Becca's a home realtor, Davie's an attorney-at-law, and you're a surgeon? That would've been three boring triplets."

"We would have made a lot of money."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Shoot," Logan said, his eyes still circling, following the wings of the ceiling fan.

"Ryan. Why does it feel like he's different?"

"Because he is."

"Well, _yeah_," Carlos continued, "but you know me, I can take to somebody in an instant. But Ryan is hard to become comfortable with."

"Well... he doesn't have a history like we do. He most likely doesn't know the kind of pain we've been put through. And if he has experienced stuff like we have, we don't know if he had a Carlos to laugh with, or a James to smile at, or a Logan to make sure everything was okay, or a Kendall to look up to. He didn't have us back then."

"But he has us now."

"That he does, Carlitos. That he does." Logan smiled, nodding. "He's got somebody to count on now. I'm just not sure if he's_ fully _ready to take a bullet for us _just yet_."

"So we're big brothers, now."

"_Yep, _Carlos, we're big brothers now."

"I'm scared. What if we mess up being big brothers?"

"We're not going to mess up."

"What makes _you so sure_?"

"Because I believe in us."

For the first time since they were young, Carlos let his hand slowly move over to Logan's and grip it tightly. Logan didn't fight it, as he gripped it back, a sign saying that no matter who or what came barging in, whether it be Wayne Wayne or Camille, or Ryan or Bitters, that the two were unified, no matter what. Logan and Carlos's eyes slowly fluttered closed, as the two drifted off on Kendall's bed. And Carlos remembered somehow telling himself in his dream that this was the first time he and Logan had spent the night next to one another in a long time, not needing anything besides the other's trusting grip and relaxing warmth.

And the two lay under the rotating ceiling fan, their dreams growing wild within their heads, and the questions that haunted them were calmed and put to rest for the evening.

_I believe in us._ Logan's words rung in Carlos's dream world. _I believe in us._

_

* * *

_**A/N: **Aw, fluff chapter. I guess. I hope you enjoy it!_ Please review.  
_


	5. It's A Family Thing

"Operation Find-Out-What's-Up-With-Ryan-And-Why-He's-So-Weird commencing." Kendall muttered as the four hung, clinging to a hallway corner of the Palm Woods. It was another one of their schemes coming together before them, as they were on leave for the day, as ordered by Gustavo, all but Ryan, who had too much work for a day off at the moment. "All sectors are go for launch."

"Glad we went with the _short name._" Logan scoffed, as the group stayed in a spy-like formation, peeking from around the corner of the hall.

"Ready, team?" Kendall reassured with a rush of confidence in his tone. The others nodded, and Kendall smiled, letting loose a prominent, "go, go, go!"

James enjoyed how seriously Kendall would take some of their schemes, as if national security depended on the success of their mission. If Kendall was acting like the leader of their four-man squadron, then you know it would have a successful ending. Most of the time. There were times, when even Kendall's most determined demeanor wasn't enough to complete a mission, and this would be the demise of them all. Usually, this caused for Kendall's most pained nights with his friends.

Logan hoped for the worst. If Kendall's plan had gone wrong, Kendall would be in need of a few hands to pat him on the back, take him into an embrace, and remind him that he was the greatest leader for even believing in his team's ability to complete the task at hand. Ryan would only be another hand, and maybe that Kendall may trust him after that.

Victory was not an option.

They followed Ryan silently through the lobby, as Ryan had half an hour to kill before Gustavo would ring him and order for another day at work. Ryan wasn't dressed up, only donning a pair of orange swim trunks, matching flip flops, and a tank top. If he was going to work like that, Griffin obviously wasn't going to be there. Ryan sat with a new friend he had made in the lobby, a supporting role on New Town High who played Jo's little brother. Ryan and the young boy talked and laughed, and as Kendall hid behind his newspaper, attempting to look inconspicuous, he noticed that Ryan looked a lot like Carlos when he laughed. He noticed that he looked like Logan when he was explaining something. He noticed that he would flip his hair when it was in his eyes, just the way James would.

He began to wonder if Ryan wasn't that different after all. But then, Gustavo called.

Ryan got up, smiled at his friend, put on the pair of sunglasses he stashed in his pocket, and took off for the taxi that awaited outside. This caused the boys to jump up, and dart for the front doors of the Palm Woods, hailing themselves another taxi, as they barked an order to the driver to, "Follow that taxi right there." Logan pointed out Ryan's cab to the grumpy, yet complying driver. "Please."

After just minutes of driving, the taxi took a left turn instead of a right, and the four boys knew that Ryan was _not _headed to Rocque Records just yet, if not at all. In fact, when they pulled up, they found that Ryan's taxi had gone to the polar opposite of Rocque Records: Hawk Records. What in blue hell Ryan was accomplishing by walking into Hawk Records dressed as a surfer, then walk out looking exactly the same, only with a manila folder in his hands.

"Maybe he's a super spy. And he's only the fifth member because Gustavo needs a spy." Carlos snickered.

"It's likely," Logan figured, "I mean, blossoming talent, like Ryan's? Hawk is going to want something like him, too. He's a regular Justin Bieber-esque teen superstar. Why _not _hire him? But since Gustavo already got to him first, he probably is spying on Hawk."

"Isn't that sort of illegal?" James said, focused mostly on the hair on his head than the situation in his and his friends' hands.

"Are you guys hearing yourselves?" Kendall thought. "The boy comes in empty-handed. The boy comes out with a manila folder. Hello, record deal? He's signing to both companies."

"That's more likely." Logan noted. "That is if Rocque Records allows for artists to sign with other recording companies. Which is highly unlikely. If a recording company gets talent, it's not likely they'd let them sign to another company."

"Ryan wouldn't do that." Carlos said.

"You never know." Logan added. "But it's written in the law that one is innocent until proven guilty."

"_But _according to Sherlock Holmes, the evidence proves Ryan to be guilty."

"We have _no evidence _of Ryan saying that he is leaving behind Rocque Records or Big Time Rush to sign with Hawk and his she-demon. All we have is him going into the Hawk building and coming out of the Hawk building. That isn't hard evidence." James figured. "And it's written in the United States constitution that one must never assume."

"He's right." Logan figured. "If he _is _guilty, and I'm still not sure whether or not I want him to be, then boom. He's out."

"But if he's innocent," Carlos reminded, "then _we _confess and _we _apologize. I'm still standing by my opinion that he's a nice kid."

After Ryan re-mounted his yellow steed, the four tailed him once again as he pulled into Rocque Records after just a few minutes of driving down the boulevard. The boys were under full license to follow him now, but if anyone from the building had seen them, Ryan would have known minutes later. So the boys attempted to slide in through the main air shaft in the back of the building, and listen in on Gustavo and Ryan talk.

Managing to slide up the air vents quite uncomfortably, the four boys climbed until their arms had nothing more than bone and sore muscle, but they crawled for a few more minutes to find Gustavo's office. The conversation was already half-completed, but Ryan and Gustavo were heard clearly from the air vent window.

"So, which one did you decide on letting them have?" Gustavo said, concentration in his voice.

"Of the four of them?" Ryan's tone was almost lighthearted. "The short one. Most boring one, too."

"Why?"

"Too typical. Tries too hard. You know? Wasn't getting a good vibe."

"So. Everything's taken care of. Done."

"Yup, these are the files." Ryan promptly slid the manila folder received from Hawk Records towards Gustavo. "By tomorrow, there's only going to be four left over, and without the extra, we'll be a hit."

"Alright then, Durant, we've got ourselves a concert to prep, and we've got to record the songs. So get to work."

"Jeez, you turned into grumpy Gustavo quicker than Kendall had let on." Kendall, from the vent window, recalled telling Ryan that Gustavo's dynamic attitude would catch him by surprise one day. This apparently had been one of those moments to Ryan.

"Don't start with me, _dog_." Gustavo pointed a strict finger and ordered Ryan to finish his solo part on _Til I Forget About You_.

The boys went back to the Palm Woods that afternoon with the freshly picked information and began reworking their thoughts about Ryan completely.

* * *

"_I swear I'll do anything that I have to, til I forget about you._" Ryan sang, finishing up the last of the song. After spending all day in the studio, the young boy felt himself getting dizzy, and his paranoia setting in once again. "Gustavo, it's late. Can I go home now?"

Hesitantly, Gustavo knew Ryan had much on his plate to stop at eight at night. But as Ryan held his head, Gustavo almost felt a bit of sympathy, and acted on it, saying, "whatever. Be back here tomorrow by ten in the morning, and tell Carlos he doesn't need to come in. He's the only one, surprisingly, with all his dance moves down, so I guess he deserves the day off." Ryan knew that Carlos was _always _the one with his dance moves down first, so hearing that almost sounded natural to him. Gustavo held out one-hundred dollars for Ryan, entitling him to spend that money on Carlos's corn dogs.

"Right. Night, boss." And Ryan had collected his cell phone after leaving the small booth, and dizzily made his way to the front plaza of the Rocque building, hailing a cab and beginning his descent home. During his entire ride, Ryan's inner subconscious began speaking with him, and he attempted to control it until he got into 2I.

_Great job getting involved with Hawk. Are you going to tell the boys what happened, or are you going to lie to another four people? _His subconscious muttered.

_I'm going to tell them, you know I am_. Ryan retorted in his thoughts.

_Now? The next time you see them? When, you lying backstabber? _Ryan knew he needed his medication when his own thoughts were calling him horrible names. Hell, he knew he needed them whenever his loud-mouthed conscious starting talking whatsoever.

_It's not the time. _Ryan fought._ When the time is right, I will tell them, and you can stick that in your non-existent ass._

_My ass is your ass._

_Shut up! _And Ryan figured it was high time he got home, paid the taxi driver, and take his meds so he could fall asleep and wake up feeling relieved once again. _  
_

* * *

"Here's what I think," Logan said, analyzing the clipboard with all the collected information, "Ryan was originally signed to Hawk Records when Gustavo persuaded him to sign with him, but having already signed a contract, Hawk was entitled to a talented singer. So, instead of letting Hawk keep Ryan, he eliminated what he saw as the weakest link, and gave him to Hawk."

"Hawk now having full and complete control of" Kendall continued.

"Carlos." Carlos said woefully. He didn't know if Logan's drawn conclusion was entirely true, but the evidence returned to him leaving the band, and being replaced with Ryan. He began running through his emotions, telling himself that Ryan really was the enemy, but something in him knew that something about the information they collected was missing, and something about the entire dilemma they were undergoing was missing a key part. He knew that if everything was put together, it would be a legitimate circumstance.

Ryan walks in as if just in time, shaking his head and shivering. He looked almost appalled to see his band mates talking calmly in the lobby, when they really should have been upstairs watching the hockey game. Stammering, he managed to gut out, "hey guys, later, tired, night."

They waved gingerly, and began talking again. As Ryan left, Kendall reminded them, "see? A _freak_."

"It could be a _family_ thing." James added. "You know Ryan and family."

"Family doesn't take away from the fact that he's involved somehow with Hawk Records." Kendall snapped attention back to Ryan's suspicious actions.

"We should go check on him."

"No, we shouldn't," James reminded, "it's a _family thing_."

* * *

**A/N: **Uh-oh. Suspicious. Review?


	6. An Utter Need To Apologize

"We can't just _tell _him we followed him." James commented with hesitation, the first time he had taken his mind off of his hair and focused on the Ryan situation in weeks. "_Oh, Ryan, did we tell you that we caught a cab and followed yours_?_ We saw you at Hawk because we followed you. Oh, okay, have a nice day._ How dumb do you want us to look, anyway?"

"He raises a very strong point." Logan commented. "He'll never trust us again."

"And we want his trust _so badly_," Kendall scoffed sarcastically.

"If we're wrong," Carlos cut in almost instantaneously, "then _yes_. We do want his trust."

"_You _may want his trust." Kendall resonated, his temper growing short and nearing a fuse once more. "I don't. He can keep his lousy trust."

"Kendall," James gulped, "it's alright."

"Whatever." Kendall shrugged his best friends off and stormed away in the heat of the moment from the Palm Woods lobby. He hailed a cab and ragingly slammed the car door behind him, barking orders at the already grumpy driver.

Logan spoke, "he's going to the rink."

"_Yeah_." James and Carlos chirped, no doubt in their mind that Kendall was going to the only place in the entire vicinity of Los Angeles that could ever get him to calm down.

"Guys," Logan licked his lips, "as hard as it is to admit, Ryan's eating Kendall up inside. And if Kendall doesn't like Ryan, then doesn't that make it our responsibility to dislike him, too? I mean, we _are _brothers, aren't we? I think Kendall's just mad because—"

"_There you go again_." Carlos roared, suddenly becoming infuriated from all the melodrama playing out before the four. "There you go _again_, Logan. Just going out of your way to defend Kendall, because Kendall is _always right_, _all the time_. Talking to James and I like we're stupid, like we can't form opinions of our own. I happen to like Ryan, very much, and I know that he's not up to anything good. So you can drop the whole _defending Kendall _act."

"Shut up, Carlos, you don't know what you're talking about." Logan shook his head.

"_You _shut up, Logan! Why don't you just butt out? _Stop _worrying about Kendall for a second." Carlos retorted.

"Never! I _love _Kendall, almost as much as you love Ryan."

"I never said anything—"

"But _you know_ you do, because he's all you're about lately."

"_Me_? Ryan is all over_ you_, if anything, that's why Kendall's so mad."

"What are you talking about _now_?"

"I'm saying that Kendall's jealous that you're getting all close to Ryan."

_"I could say the same thing about you_."

"Okay, the both of you!" James sneered, his tone loud, the entire lobby now having their eyes deadlocked onto the trio. "The both of you, go upstairs and finish this _now_!"

"But I'm going to go check on Kendall—" Logan was stopped mid-stride towards the doors of the Palm Woods.

"No. _I'm_ going to go check on Kendall. Now go upstairs." James' finger jut out of his fist and he directed the pair to the elevators.

"You can't tell us what to" Carlos barked, his voice raging, yet, since he was talking to James, a bit intimidated.

"_Carlos. Logan. Go. Upstairs._" James made it sure that he channeled his eye_s, _becoming engulfed in red anger. The two boys tails instantly shot in between their legs, and they slowly walked into the tense mist of the crowd, striding towards the elevator, where they would finish their conversation, and not any quieter than they had in the lobby.

Entering 2J, Carlos had no desire to even remotely be around Logan, so he simply acknowledged to Mrs. Knight that he wasn't in the mood to eat, and slammed his bedroom door behind him. Logan did the same. And neither boy knew exactly why, but when they fell apart on their beds, they started bawling—not for Ryan, or for Kendall, or because of James. They couldn't place why, but they knew that it had to do with one another.

* * *

Pulling up to the ice rink, James entered hesitantly, and found the place to be empty. It was on odd sight. It was typically bustling about with many children, and Kendall would not even bothered to skate, due to the fact he couldn't without slamming into an infant. Instead, though, was an empty rink, and Kendall, in his Minnesota Wild jersey, swinging his hockey stick at the ice below him, firing a puck every few seconds, and making a puck, every few seconds, into the goal, as the imaginary crowd stood up and applauded his eternal skill. James couldn't help but snicker and walk out onto the ice—sneakers and all.

"Kendall." James smiled. "What's up?"

"Just... chilling." Leave it to Kendall to make the worst ice joke in the book.

"I see," James paused, then, "you left Palm Woods in quite the tantrum. You know, Logan and Carlos got into a fight because of all your negative chi."

"Negative chi?" Kendall scoffed at James' bit of superficiality for the day. "What _are _you, a shaman?"

"What's a shaman?"

"Shut up."

"_You _shut up."

"Is there something you want to talk about, Kendall? Really?"

"No. Not right now."

"Please, Kendall. I'd really like for you to tell me."

"Not right now, Jamie."

"But—I only want to help."

"You can't."

"I can try," James said, his voice trailing, "it's about Ryan, isn't it?" No response. "It _is _about Ryan. Okay, we can build off of this. Ryan is... _annoying_."

"In all honesty," Kendall fired another puck at the goal, his first one he missed throughout his entire time in the rink, "not really."

"Okay, then..." James was actually taken by surprise. "Ryan is... _talented_?"

"No, really?" Sarcasm eau de Kendall.

"Is it because Ryan's all over Logan?" Another awkward silence. "Aha! And so the puzzle has been solved."

"Alright, James, I'm trying _real _hard not to punch you in the face," Kendall admitted.

"Understandable, but don't do it."

"We'll see."

"Are you jealous of Ryan, getting all of Logan's attention?"

"_Please_, James, I can get Logan's attention if I needed it."

"_Then what_?"

"Ryan's all over _me_, all the time, too, Kendall. Could that be it?" Another silence, only this one, twenty times more awkward. "No, you're right, that was conceited and stupid—"

"James."

"Hm?"

"You see how Logan dealt with me and Jo, right? The way he acted like everything was ending—and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he's captured by Camille, and he seems to forget all about me—but in the meantime, Carlos is freaking out." Kendall explained. "Do you think that Logan's restarting that old routine we had going on?"

"That one when we were chasing after each other in that big circle."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"So, yeah, we're going back into the old routine?"

"If you think we are."

"I don't think we are."

"But you just said—"

"Something's different."

"Like what?"

"I think I'm over Logan."

* * *

"Carlos! Logan! You both march your butts down here _this instant_!" Mrs. Knight's voice boomed. All the door-slamming was totally unnecessary, not to mention the out of hand rudeness, and it was a bit too much of her time of the month to be dealing with hormonal teenage boys. Scared and reluctant, the two boys nervously climbed down the steps leading into the living room and presented themselves before their patron mother and stood with guilt ridden in their eyes. "What seems to be the problem here, boys?" Mrs. Knight questioned, sitting like The Godfather, only her stare more vicious.

A barrage of words played about, either boy overlapping the other, "_Logan''_—"

"Whoa, one at a time, boys!" Mrs. Knight silenced, then barked, "Logan, you first."

"Well, Mama Knight, Ryan is really getting to Kendall, and in all concern, I wanted to make sure Kendall was happy, despite how much of a help Ryan is to the band, because Kendall is simply more important than Ryan is. So Carlos gets angry at me for putting Kendall first."

"I didn't get angry, all I said was that you defend him _all the time_."

"Because that's what I do, that's what Logan Mitchells do, Carlos."

"Well Logan Mitchells need to learn to factor in _everybody_, because when you're plotting things against Ryan, it makes me feel bad, because Ryan's my friend, and by speaking about him, we're betraying his friendship."

"You obviously don't think Kendall's friendship is important."

"I never said _that_, I just said be more considerate of others." Carlos barked. "Kendall's your whole entire world, Logan, and it's always about him with you. News flash! He's _over _you, since we left Minnesota, and you're an amazing friend to him, but you're just being an annoying and clingy kind of crush, and there, I said it."

"Well I'm sorry for feeling concern for my very best friend that I've known since I was five. I'm sorry that I want to make sure Kendall is happy."

"There we go about _Kendall _again, Logan, now what about _me_?" Carlos analyzed the end of his sentence and realized he was blushing a bit more than he usually was, blushing in a more intense red than when the Jennifers would walk by. With that, Logan looked at him with eyes of utter pity, and Carlos had to keep himself from welling up and nervously breaking down in the living room. He darted upstairs, and quickly buried his face into his pillow.

* * *

That night, Kendall and James had arrived home with wide smiles on their faces, but Kendall had a mission. Realizing something on the ice, Kendall had to tell Logan that, though he still loved him with all his heart, Logan was never his boyfriend, nor anything close. It hurt inside to be saying that, but Kendall knew in his heart that it was right—Logan wasn't supposed to be loving him the way he did. Logan was his little brother. His best friend. The figure of his protection, and the boy that kept him going all these years. At this point, he just wondered how.

Behind him, James wished Kendall good night, and good luck, then proceeded to walk upstairs to check on Logan, and apologize for his command earlier that afternoon, then maybe go to Carlos and do the same. He knocked on the door to he and Logan's room, and realizing that was an absurd move, knocking on his own door, he barged in to find Logan, busy at work with a set of calculus formulas.

"Logie." James sat on the bed farthest left, his bed, watching Logan work on the desk nestled in between the mousse-smelling bed he lay planted on, and the neat bed that belonged to Logan. "Wana talk, bud?"

"No, busy." Logan sputtered.

"Well, I just want to say that I'm sorry for yelling at you today—sorry for taking Kendall, by the way. Did you work things out with Carlos?"

"No."

"Well you and I should go do that _right now_." James bounded up and clutched Logan's wrist, tugging him forcefully to knock on the door of the room across the hall. Logan didn't want to protest, because deep inside, he knew he had to apologize to Carlos, but he didn't appear excited, either, as he and James stood before the door in the narrow hallway. James knocked, calling, "Carlos..." No answer. "Carlitos..." Still no answer. "Carlos, I'm coming in there." Still silence.

With that, James barged in, Logan following close at hand, but the messy room was devoid of any Carlos.

"Carlos?" James was at a near-panic now, as he rummaged through the dirty clothes, and jumped on the beds quickly to see if he was simply hiding under sheets. No luck. Logan, too, began to panic, and began calling Carlos's name alongside his taller counterpart.

"Kendall!" Logan ran out of the room, knowing it was dead-empty. "Carlos is gone!"

"Oh, no, he's not." Kendall growled, crumpling up a note that was previously on the counter. "He's with Ryan, heading to Rocque Records."

"Doing _what_, exactly?" Logan suddenly looked panicked.

"_What else_?" Kendall yelled, "they're going to go fire Carlos."

And Logan never felt such an utter need to apologize.

* * *

**A/N: **Uh-oh. Trouble. Okay, so the slash pairings officially are Carlos/Logan and James/Kendall. Because Logan is so smart and rational while Carlos is so dumb and fun-loving, and Kendall is so humble while James is so boastful. They just complete each other. Oh, and let me point out that Logan liked **C**amille, and Kendall liked **J**o. Just notice those two beginning letters and then see how well it works out. If you don't like that pairing, I'm really sorry, but I have my heart set on them. I love reviews.


	7. In One Word? Family

"We have to get to Rocque Records before they do!" Kendall yelled, hailing a cab as quickly as possible, and shoving Logan and James into the back, practically screaming at the driver to, "get us to Rocque Records and _step on it_." The car swerved out of the parking lot of the Palm Woods and careened into a traffic-less boulevard, as the trio sped down the road, taking a few lefts and rights to get to their recording studio.

"And how exactly do you know they're going to Rocque, Kendall?" Logan asked, almost annoyed at the positions the three were in.

"Ryan accidentally sent _me _a text instead of Gustavo." Kendall said, whipping out his cell phone, as he began reciting Ryan's text message out loud, "Gustavo, I'm on my way there. I brought the short one. Just give the papers to me as quick as possible and I'll take care of Carlos. By the way, do you want anything from Sillyburger?"

Pulling up to Rocque Records in a screeching halt, Kendall instantly chirped, "we're here!" And flew out of the cab like a trapped mockingbird. The other three followed his lead, only to hit the concrete sidewalk, and land at the feet of Ryan and Carlos, each holding yellow, greasy paper bags from Sillyburger. They made excellent time for two with a full agenda for the evening.

"Carlos!" Kendall bounded up to his knees to greet his friend. He waved hi to Ryan, and pulled Carlos aside to ask, "so. Did he fire you?"

"Did he what—oh. No. See? I told you Logan was wrong." His mouth was full of crispy Sillyfries, as he attempted to wolf them down before anybody asked for some.

"Not yet, Carlos. There's still time for him to do it."

"Why are you so intent on me leaving?"

"I'm not, honest. I'm just letting you be prepared. Okay?"

"Whatever."

With that, all of Big Time Rush hailed another cab and they all piled inside, and began their way back to the Palm Woods. Kendall made it a point to send out a message to James and Logan, reading, _the firework is still on the roof, and the match is not lit. Repeat, the firework is still on the roof, and the match is not lit. _Which (quite idiotically, from Logan's point of view) translated to _Carlos was not fired, and Ryan is still innocent. _Kendall was comforted to hear his two friends breathe in relief.

* * *

The rest of the night, none of the boys talked.

Ryan, young and unknowing, strode into his apartment and didn't bother bathing that night—it would have to wait until morning. He simply slipped off his jeans, fought his shirt off his torso, pulled over his over-sized pullover, and fell into bed. What he had been doing all day to tire him out, he didn't want to recall any further, so he let his dreams take over for the night, and having recently taking his medication, his subconscious would leave him alone for the night. The morning was coming for him slowly, and he couldn't feel any better about that.

Carlos, stressed out, embarrassed, but on the positive side, full to the brim with fast food, didn't feel the need to bathe either. He merely fell onto the couch, pondering the day's thoughts, and turned the television off, shooing away an equally tired Katie. He didn't mind sleeping on the sofa for the evening. He recalled exposing the fact that he was still infatuated with Logan, and refused to feel awful about it. But he knew that Logan still loved Kendall with every fiber of his being, and Carlos competing against Kendall was nothing short of a guaranteed loss on the young Latino's part. He fell asleep feeling that queasy feeling, and the way that Logan ignored his every word (though really, nobody really said anything), he knew things were not going to be okay come morning time.

Logan knew there was something about to go down in the morning, and he didn't think it was Carlos. He knew for a fact that he would have to confront Carlos sooner or later, but at the moment, he felt something brewing among somebody else in the unit he spent so much time with, and he knew it wouldn't be very good. Kendall still loved him. Maybe. James and him didn't really have anything tense going on, nor have they ever, so he was guaranteed to have James' positivity. But whether the bad news came from Bitters, or from Kendall, or from Kelly, or from whoever, he felt that something was about to blow up in his face. He was usually good at dissecting problems and eliminating them, but there was no evidence of anything happening, other than a deep feeling in his gut. All he could do was prepare.

James fell asleep, nearly elated. The way Kendall had looked at him on the ice rink. He remembered Kendall's words, "_I'm over Logan. I think I have been for a while now. Do not get me wrong. Logan was an adorable kid, I mean, he still is, and I love him. I love him with all my heart. But after all these years, I could never pull myself to love him the way I love y_—_I mean. The way I'd love a girl, or something. He's my little brother. We've been with each other through thick and thin. But as hung up as we are on each other, we sort of deprived ourselves from people who actually love us. I mean, you see the way Carlos looks into Logan's eyes, right? I've never looked at Logan like that. I've always told him we would be together forever, but I'm sure I meant it as brothers. Because I do love him, James, you know that. Just not in the way we've been telling ourselves we were all these years._" James remembered replying that night, saying, _"I remember once, I kissed Carlos, when you and Logan went to the Wild game. He used to look up to me, just the way that Logan would you. I realized then that Carlos and I were meant to be brothers, and that I loved him. But just like you, I don't think I remember loving him in the way that I love y_—_I mean. The way I'd love a girl._"

Kendall, though practically confessing his love for James, had trouble figuring out what to say to Logan in the morning. How does an older brother tell his younger brother to move onto somebody else? How would Kendall phrase the very words that would break Logan's heart? If Logan wasn't broken, would _he _be? Would he be disappointed that Logan didn't fight for him? Kendall stared up at the ceiling fan, then looked over to his side, finding that Carlos's bed was empty. If he was in the room, Kendall would make it an effort to shake Carlos awake, and the two would talk. Kendall liked confiding in Carlos on nights like this. With Logan's admiration, he could talk to Logan about things that made him angry. He could ask Logan for suupport. With James, he could be himself the most, he could tell James anything, and he would never once get angry. But with Carlos? All Carlos ever felt the responsibility of doing was listening; and that's what Kendall needed, right then and there: his best friend.

All of Big Time rush fell asleep that night with a heavy need for tomorrow to come already.

* * *

"Dogs, the concert is _tonight_!" Gustavo barked at the five, who sat, enduring another failure from today's challenge—their first concert with five people. Dak Zevon had already briefed Ryan on the art of fan-avoiding, and more importantly psychotic fan-avoiding, and had called it a day. Mr. X had already reminded the five of their dance moves. Harmonizing was crossed off the list. But the quirky situation Big Time Rush found themselves in once again was the fact that they lost access to perform at The House of Blues for Ryan's inauguration-into-the-band ceremony. "Fix this!"

"Why do you just _expect _us to fix things?" Ryan shouted, his first words of rebellion to Gustavo.

"Because we end up fixing them." Logan said, despair straining his voice. "Everything always turns out well."

"Why do you sound so depressed then?"

"We always sulk before we get to work." James added, the same amount of hopelessness.

"It's what we do." Carlos chimed.

"So when are we going to _get to fixing this_?" Ryan bounded from the edge of the model stage.

"3. 2. 1." Kelly began counting, standing behind Gustavo's brick red, angered face.

"Idea!" Logan blinked, and everybody's expression changed. "Since we can't get The House of Blues, why don't we make it a public performance? I mean, all the money is to fund the unannounced tour—if fans don't know we're touring yet, then why can't the tour start a bit later than the set date? It's not like Griffin is going to care. We can work free, inaugurate Ryan, and still be able to get The House of Blues, and actually raise some money, on another date."

"Good plan," Kelly nodded, "but where are we going to find a willing patron to donate the grounds of their park for this use? And where are we going to get lights, paparazzi, seating, a booth for souvenirs, the meet and greet table, vending stands for both food and beverages, _and _a cleaning crew? Those were going to be provided by The House of Blues."

"I know a few people who could spare a couple of bucks and manage cleaning and booth set up." James said, "I'll head back to the Palm Woods, turn on a bit of the Diamond charm, and get all of our friends to help with prep, clean up, and sales." And James took off for the Palm Woods, taking a stroke to the hairdo with his lucky comb before he got to work.

"My friend Stanton knows a few guys from the set of New Town High he could call in a favor to. They're not filming right now." Ryan smiled confidently, whipping out his cell phone.

"I'll take care of _that_. Jo has a much better way of calling in a favor than your little friend." Kendall said, dialing Jo's number. "Hey, Jo, can I call in a favor? I just need a few guys from your set to cover the concert. Do you think you and I could drive over and see if they're willing to work the night? ... great! I'll be right over." And Kendall was darting out the door.

"Stage set up is going to take _all day_. How are we going to do _that_?" Kelly wondered.

"The Renaissance fair at Ellenburg Park should be ending its all-night festival right about now. Give them time to clean up and we can use their seats and stage." Logan added. "With a little cash, we could buy the stage off of them."

"How are you so sure that they'd let a _random boy band member _use their set?" Gustavo noted.

"If their dreams of producing a renaissance CD are fulfilled..." Logan walked over and threw an arm over Gustavo's shoulder, "...by Gustavo Rocque himself."

"No _way _am I going to produce a medieval CD." Gustavo exclaimed.

"All you have to do is produce it, Gustavo! Write up a contract that says they are fully responsible for marketing, and boom. We've got a stage." Ryan nodded and smiled eagerly. "It could work! And it's not like you're leaving them in the dust, or anything, you can produce about 100 copies and tell them to sell them at the next fair. Besides, Ellenburg Park is a _really _nice park. Just talk to the officials and they'll let you." For a thirteen year old, Ryan knew a lot more about the sleazy world of the music industry than everybody had initially believed. With that, Gustavo gave Logan and Ryan a look, back and forth, and the two instantly took off, with Kelly hesitant.

She instantly trailed in a run, yelling to Carlos and Ryan, "you two are in charge of publicity, text James the directions to Ellenburg, good luck!"

Carlos instantly texted James to Mapquest the way towards Ellenburg Park. With that, Ryan groaned, "how are we going to let _all _of Los Angeles know that our concert is being moved to Ellenburg Park in the duration of_ fourteen hours_?"

"I don't know, kid."

"No flyers, no megaphone, no TV access, no nothing! Just you, me, and a taxi."

Suddenly, two beeps came from Carlos's cell phone, and he smiled, taking a look at the plan that Kelly had concocted over text message to get the word out. "There's a mass-copy machine room on the fourth floor, in Supply Closet A13. The pass and keys to that room are on the first drawer on the right of Gustavo's desk. Get a few kids and make flyers, then throw them around the city. I've arranged for four cabs to take you to to four directions around the city. They'll drive you to those locations, and cover the surrounding areas. Spend two hours and two hours _only _in the studio making flyers, posters, and banners. After those two hours have passed, get your butt out to the city and spread the word! Carlos, you're the only member of Big Time Rush that I want out doing publicity. Ryan has an interviewer coming to Rocque Records at 9 AM sharp. Tell him that there's an outfit waiting for him in the supply closet down the hall, and tell him to do whatever it is he needs to do to look and smell good for the interviewer. Remind him to promote the concert that has been moved tonight! Good luck. P.S., there's a megaphone on the coffee table in the waiting area outside of Gustavo's office. I knew you might need it. Kelly."

"Oh, that girl is always working!" Ryan smiled. "But how are we going to get people to make flyers?"

"James' text!" Carlos laughed out loud, "I'm sending about ten extra people over to help out. Use them how you like! Love, James."

"Is this how it feels, Carlos?"

"How what feels?"

"When you guys are in a pinch," Ryan smiled, "then all of a sudden everybody pulls together to fix everything? And everything just suddenly falls into place?"

"Yeah."

"How do you guys describe that?"

"In a simple word? _Family_."


	8. Finding Out Why

"I just want to thank _everybody_ for coming out and supporting me—supporting _us_!" Ryan said through heavy pants and breaths into the microphone, as he smiled to the screaming crowd before him. "I also want to thank these four boys," Ryan pointed at his band mates, "Carlos, James, Kendall, and Logan, for being such great friends, and role models, and accepting me as best they could into the band! Thank you guys for coming out, but we're going to sing you one last number before we say goodbye, okay?" Ryan had just introduced _Til I Forget About You_, and after having been taken by surprise (tricked into thinking that he was going to perform _The City is Ours_ only to have the other four sing _This is Our Someday _to him, forcing him to well up with emotion on stage), he was ready to end the night with his favorite song to record and perform.

The five sung and danced along to the words of _Til I Forget About You, _belting out the best notes and creating the greatest show the fans had ever seen. At the end of the song, the concert blacked out abruptly, the audience still cheering. Then, background music played, and the announcer's voice kindly told everyone to exit the area, and proceed to the meet-and-greet, which the boys, though happy to dutifully tend to the crowd, only really wanted to return to the Palm Woods and resurface about the recent goings-on.

* * *

Tomorrow had arrived quicker than the boys had anticipated. Gustavo scheduled an after-party for the boys and their friends, whoever they wanted to bring, Gustavo urged. Kelly promised that it was her that organized the after-party, commending Ryan on his success, and the boys for being great support for him. Kelly was a little short on the truth when she said that they were the "greatest big brothers in the world" to Ryan. But though Kelly, being so kind, yet so naive to the situation, filled Kendall with even just a pinch of guilt, causing him to question his intentions for busting Ryan for who he is.

Then he looked at an apprehensive Carlos, who, usually, would be attempting to jump into the pool, was now sitting by himself, looking with concentration at what appeared to be nothing. Poor boy. Kendall knew that if Carlos was fired, he was going to go. No way was he going to sit around and watch his best friend get cut from the band. Not a chance in hell. He would take Carlos by the shoulder, and leave, and never come back, and there was no doubt in his mind that Logan would follow, and James would give up his chance at fame for their scared little friend.

Poor Carlos.

At the time of the after-party, where Ryan had proceeded to stuff his face and hang out with Stanton, who played Jo's little brother on New Town High, and Katie, as the three laughed with what Kendall hoped was apple juice in martini glasses. Everybody was donning high-end fashion, as if they were on the red carpet, when really, it was a party where everybody knew each other, and all that really was supposed to go down was a bunch of friends having fun. Carlos didn't let his apprehensive behavior from earlier that day affect his party mood, and though his heart ached for an answer, he put it off to rule the dance floor with James. Logan was speaking with Camille, both of them laughing with pieces of some fancy Hollywood pizza Gustavo had ordered up, and Kendall sat on the couch of the party room they had rented out, watching the scene play along before him.

A cake was released and everything. Kendall had to keep himself from scoffing as the sheet cake, lit and bright, was decorated with the words: "Welcoming Ryan to Big Time Rush." And there were four candles. Kendall saw that as a sign. Only four?

"Have some cake, Kendall," Logan approached with the four-candle cake, shoving a plate into Kendall's hand. He must have been staring at the four candles a bit longer than he had initially thought.

"_Mmmrmm_—" Kendall murmured through a heavy thought.

* * *

As it turns out, there was a bit more than apple juice in the martini glasses. Katie and Stanton had passed out on the couch, but Ryan, who wasn't the type to sleep when he was drunk (which he was apparently finding out now), began looking for a bit of fun since his two friends had decided to turn in during the middle of the party. It wasn't expected to end in a good few hours, and Ryan wandered aimlessly, searching for something to keep himself occupied.

He didn't even feel it when he fell over on the dance floor, leaving him laughing uncontrollably, and Kendall snickering in the corner, and Carlos looking concerned.

As a result, Carlos hauled the intoxicated 13-year-old into a small room of the estate they had rented for the party, and laid him down on the velvet couch, telling him to get some rest and that he would remember to take him home after the party was over. Ryan attempted to fight back, but his kicks and swings were a bit sluggish and light. It was then that Ryan grabbed Carlos by the collar and whispered, "you're the prettiest—_prettiest _girl in the room, Jennifer."

Carlos chuckled, "I'm not Jennifer, Rye—"

And they kissed.

Carlos instantly pushed Ryan off, a bit dumbfounded, but he was partially relieved that Ryan was so intoxicated to think he was a Jennifer. But the fact that Ryan had (probably) wasted his first kiss on Carlos somewhat shook him. He attempted to shake it off, knowing that Ryan was drunk, so he wiped the drip of saliva hanging from the tip of his lip and raised his head. But what he had happened upon wasn't too exciting.

"Logan, I—" Carlos attempted to cool his friend, who was painted pink with humiliation and disbelief. Logan stormed off in confusion, seeking Kendall, who he found in an instant, and the two decided on hitching a cab home.

Carlos was left in his speechlessness, tears welling up, as set his back against the wall and slowly fell to his bottom, hugging his knees and feeling cold and hot at the same time. Wiping the tears on his cheeks to deny they were ever there, Carlos looked at Ryan, who was now fast asleep, looking serene. In his mind, he was probably so euphoric and happy. His dreams had come true, his friends had been great, he had alcohol and a sheet cake, and he kissed a Jennifer. In his mind, he was the happiest boy on Earth.

"You're ruining my life, kid," Carlos said darkly at the sleeping boy.

* * *

Ryan was completely innocent, besides the fact that he was intoxicated for the first time. He lay in 2I, not knowing how he got there, with his head throbbing. It was a blur what had happened last night, but he remembered the vanilla sheet cake, laughing with Stanton and Katie, then dancing for a while. After that, nothing. After that, Ryan couldn't remember a single thing. He looked down at himself. Party clothes. He took his collar and gave it a quick whiff. _Stinky _party clothes.

He remembered a long while back in his health class back in Iowa that to fully recover from a hangover, you have to secrete all the alcohol from your system by sweating and peeing. Peeing would be easy. That was the first thing he felt like doing—and after he did, he approached his refrigerator lazily to find an entire tupperware full of crumbled sheet cake, some leftovers, and lots of produce from the Grocer-Eez. He would settle for toast.

After eating his toast, which was really just a piece of bread, because the toaster's spring would be the reaper on his ears, he took a cold shower, and went downstairs slowly to go to Starbucks across the street from the Palm Woods.

As he entered the lobby, he found Katie, sitting on the lounge chair, holding an ice-pack to her head. Ryan approached. "Hey."

Katie looked, not moving a single body part besides her eyes. "'Sup." She said painfully.

"What happened—you know. Last night?"

"I don't even remember."

"No more alcohol for us. Ever again. Promise?"

"I would pinky promise but for some reason, I'm sore." Katie sighed. "And it's not from over-dancing."

"I am too." Ryan chuckled.

"You're ten years old, for God's sake, Katie. Why'd you even drink—"

"Hey. I got enough of that from Kendall and my mom. I don't need it from you."

"Right. I'm going to get coffee. Want something?"

"I'm good."

"Where's Stanton?"

"He went to get coffee, too."

"Alright—"

"Wait, Ryan."

"What?" Ryan said, his body half-lifted from the seat adjacent to Katie's.

"So you do anything last night besides dance and drink? You didn't kiss, or smoke, or have sex, or—"

"Not that I remember."

"Alright."

"Alright..." And Ryan walked off in his pursuit for a capuccino. "You're thirteen years old," Ryan said, rubbing his head as he crossed the street. "No more of that. Not until you're older." As he was crossing the street with care, he received a call from Logan.

"Don't ever—" What sounded like Logan barfing interrupted "—_hello_?"

"Logan?" Ryan responded.

"Don't ever kiss—_don't ever kiss_—don't _ever_ kiss—"

"Logan, are you—are you still _drunk_?"

"_No_—_maybe. A little. I don't know. Fuck you._"

"What the hell, Logan? Where are you?"

"_...I don't know..._"

"Logan, look around. Tell me what you see."

"_Hey_—I called you. I think. I called you to—_yeah, it was me who called you, wasn't it_—don't ever kiss Carlos ever—" More barfing. "—never again."

"_Kiss Carlos_? What the hell are you—Logan, tell me what you see around you and I'll get Gustavo to get you. You're going to get us in trouble."

"I'm only _a little tipsy, Ryan, chill_."

"You're barfing. And it sounds like everywhere."

"Am—_not_!" And Logan hung up.

"Logan? Logan!" Luckily, his capuccino was finished being prepared and he could leave the coffee shop without it, not bothering check around for Stanton. He began dialing for Kendall immediately. Kendall supplied no answer, so he tried James. James picked up and agreed to meet him in the lobby with Carlos in a few minutes. Wherever Kendall and Logan were, it was likely that they were together.

"So Logan called you—" James paced, stroking his chin intently, "drunk?"

"And he hung up on me! Said something about not kissing Carlos ever again, like I've just kissed Carlos before or something. And he's throwing up. Like, a lot." Ryan reminded.

"Did you hear any background noise?" James pressed on.

"I heard a voice like Kendall's drunken singing. Most likely it was him. I also heard a sudden beat playing. The beat of _Umbrella _by _Rihanna_. That beat. It was really sudden and loud. And then a seagull, I think. But after that, it's hard to exactly place what was going on in the background."

"They're and the 41.1 Radio Jam on South Beach."

"Or a Rihanna concert." Carlos snickered. "But she's not in town."

"Well, we've got one lead. Let's move." James said.

"Shouldn't we tell Katie or Mrs. Knight, maybe Gustavo—"

"No!" Carlos exclaimed. "That'll only stress people out. Let's get them home and to sleep before they get arrested."

"Hurry!" James shouted, leading the trio out of the Palm Woods lobby.

Kendall and Logan were drunk on the beach in the middle of Los Angeles. And the three intended on finding out why.

* * *

**A/N: **Oh my god. It's been something close to forever, hasn't it? I'm alive! I'm alive, people! I don't have a valid excuse as to why I couldn't continue. But I did. I must press on. Hope you guys liked it.


End file.
